Kerouac with fresh catnip.

at least there's today

I've been restless lately. Prone to anxiety and depression for unknown reasons. Nothing is different or more stressful or bleak. I don't quite know how to rid myself of feeling this way. Today isn't bad. I stayed up late last night watching an immature and pointless movie. I was misinformed as to what it was about. Kerouac woke me up frequently and yet I feel quite rested. I imagine it has something to do with actually having coffee this morning.

My garden is coming along surprisingly well. I'd held off planting tomatoes from seeds because I thought it might be too difficult, my garden disagreed and decided to grow a thriving tomato plant on its own. Beatriz was up this last weekend and entrusted me with her very large arrowhead vine. I've strung the leaves along some twine above my nasturtiums and the two plants are rapidly reaching out to one another. I hope they don't conflict. I'll take some pictures as soon as I can and post them.

Beatriz graduates in about a month and will be moving back up to Prescott. I'm pretty well stoked for it all. I'm anxious though for what it means for me. In waiting for her to finish I've put my own goals on hold, and feel a great deal like I've lost sight of where it is I want to be. I'm unsure of how to go about re-inspiring myself to see a path toward anything. I hope though, that having her back for good will trigger something like a light switch in me. Time will tell I suppose.

idle hearts

I think I may attempt to Frankenstein a computer out of the myriad bits I have laying about. I'd like to build a primitive media pc for the my new television. I'm falling behind on some of my shows mostly because I haven't worked out a way to watch them in the living room... something about sitting in front of a computer detracts from my ability to relax and enjoy what I'm watching. I'll have to see what sort of inputs I have to work with. It's a project at least. Something to take my mind off of things.

I noticed this morning that my beans have begun to sprout pods, quite rapidly too. It's impressive to me that I've actually grown food... I'm hesitant to eat any of it though... it's like eating my children in a way. I realize of course that with most of what I'm growing, eating it won't actually kill the plant. But, something just feels off about it, perhaps it's also because I enjoy watching them grow so much, that I'd like for them to continue.

I found quite a lovely grooveshark station via reddit the other day. Have a listen to it here. It's composed of the most beautiful songs as suggested by reddit users.

I'm hoping to force some productivity into my life starting with this weekend. I'd like to go on the search for a couch for the living room so that I can finally move the futon into my study. If I can't find anything, I'd like to at least get things a bit more organized.