among the living again

Well I'm nearly entirely recovered from my bout of h1n1. It was likely the sickest I've been since I was a child. Even after my fever broke, I was laid up in bed for about four days. The sinus pressure that forced its way into my cranium after the worst of it has also pretty well left me. So suffice it to say I'm feeling quite good to have any modicum of energy back. I'm hoping that I don't have any relapse in the near future, and that this flu will be the extent of my sickness this winter. I am now in a bit of a pinch financially having missed a week of work. My dad fronted me some cash to cover some of the loss, but I'll still need to put in some extra hours so that I don't fall behind on any bills.

I'm thinking I might attempt to write tonight, but I'd like to have a few drinks if I do, and I've been trying to take it easy until I'm a hundred percent sure all the bugs are out of my system. So... I may have to put it off until later this week. Oh well... we'll see how I'm feeling after my shift is over.

like a rotten peach;


all sugar cities and perfect hearing gone awry

Where does the junkie go when his fix is holy?
What do priests pray for in the dead of loneliness?
When God has abandoned all hope and there is only an echo in nothing amongst stars,
or the lack thereof.

We are a weak and death prone race of liars and visionaries.
All to our own poisoning flock in cascading regularity.
We sit frowning at the godhead for something more impressive or relevent;
blind entirely to whatever it was was the point of this.

Like mad cattle affixed to an ever growing field of just enough nourishment.
Never beyond what mad men dream is actually the grass or sun or love before slaughter.
But enough for us to ignore and feed liars.
Enough for the lie to become our grass our sun our love.

I pray for fire;
nothing is always better than the pretense preceding.

beneath believing all manner is

Between what remains

Go forth absent children
Everything is perfectly okay.


There are fires yet unlit and an eye upon everything.


We hoped our children might save us;


Schrodinger had a similar idea.