Sunday, August 30, 2009

between our poison, between our flailing branch
sweet soot burrows her limp head in what may have been

of ash grows a gown
as fire
once sweetly so
now given to wild and benevolent pruning.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

or else,


I will believe in better things someday.

best laid plans

the only ever


'One baby to another said,
I'm lucky to have met you'

Friday, August 21, 2009

one arm in

about believing






























when there's nothing left.

between the silence
























If ever there were a place to rest.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

two feet planted form a tree


Well I'm back from my trek to Montana for my grandmothers memorial and subsequent family reunion. It was insanely interesting to meet my mom's side of the family. I'm still sort of trying to sort out how exactly I feel about it all. I can't quite compose my thoughts yet, it's strange to go from feeling quite alone, or rather, disconnected from any extended family to seeing how all the pieces fit. It was most intriguing to make sense of parts of who I am, who my sister is, and who my mom is from who my family is. I'll likely explain this more when I can muster the composure to understand the feeling in context, but nevertheless, it was really great, albeit exhausting.

Bea is moving back to Tucson this weekend, and I'll have a nonstop work week with the start of classes next Monday. So, I'm hoping I'll have the time soon to rest and think on everything. We shall see.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Been a while since last we...


Well much muchness has occurred since last I made an entry. I'll start with Frida, whom two Saturdays ago confronted a skunk in the backyard, which effectively drove my friends away and destroyed my sense of smell for several days. It's been a while since the incident but every so often the wafting stench can be uncovered wherever the air is still. As for Frida, she really couldn't have cared less, and seems no worse for wear as a result of the encounter. When I found the stink bomb of a pup out back, she was wagging her tail and appeared happy to've made a new friend.

The next most interesting thing to've occurred, is the rock wall by the back door that has been slowly separating for a few years now finally collapsed. Thankfully, it happened at night and none of the animals were nearby. Having examined the construction methods I'm quite surprised it didn't keal over sooner. It appears to've been built by applying a layer of cement to the exterior wall of the house, layering rocks upon it, then packing mud upon and another layer of rocks, then covering the whole thing with cement. Of a concern to Beatriz and I is the structural integrity of the rocks directly above the doorway, they appear fairly solid, but it's an uncomfortable feeling nonetheless. Beatriz called the landlord who requested us to draw a diagram of the incident, we haven't heard back since.

Beatriz' birthday and subsequent party is this Friday. She's turning 25 and the theme is 'chrome'. Everyone is wear as much silver as possible. I picked up a vest from the DAV and am going to spray paint it when I get off work today. I'm thinking I'll try to find an old pair of pants I hardly wear and cut them into shorts, and then spray paint those as well. But the crustiness might make them quite uncomfortable. We're supposed to go to 80's night tonight at Sundances, which should be quite interesting. I haven't been to the bars in quite a while, and we'll likely have to be there late, as Beatriz will get quarter drinks.. or drink, I'm not sure which, between 12:00 and closing. Saturday Beatriz and I are planning to celebrate here birthday more intimately and I'm very much hoping my gifts arrive in time, or else I'm going to have very few surprises.

I impulsively spent money I really didn't have on an X-box 360 last weekend. I've been wanting one for quite a while, as the X-box live feature really interested me because most of my friends are on there. I'm kicking myself now however because I really didn't shop around, and inadvertantly found a much better deal on NewEgg. I was set to return the X-box but managed to lose the reciept due to carelessness. As a result, I decided to put some stuff on Ebay to attempt to make some extra cash. My friend John is facilitating the process which is brilliant because he knows far more about the process than I do, and has a very good user rating. I'm selling my Ps2 and all my games in hopes of paying off the new system. At which point I think I'll finally have upgraded to next gen consoles, hopefully I won't be screwed by some transition to even newer gen.

Next week I'll be flying to Seattle to meet my mom and sister. We're going to driver to Montana to meet the rest of my Mom's family and attend a memorial for my grandmother. It's a week long trip and will be very interesting to see where my mom grew up, and meet cousins and aunts and uncles I haven't seen since I was in daipers. I purchased a mini hd camera for the trip and am thinking about making a documentary of the experience. I imagine the trip will present the whole spectrum of emotion from sorrow to joy. It will interesting to see whether or not my anticipations of drama will come to fruition. There is a great deal of difference between my immediate family and my extended family in regard to politics and religion. Whether or not this will be brought up is left to the future, but if it is, I'm imagining it would be extremely interesting to document. I'm thinking that I'll interview my mom and sister along the way, and add commentary as to what's going through my head. I'm bringing my macbook, so I can dump all my recording onto it and edit things later on. I'd like to edit down to the most interesting parts and add music and make it into a sort of indy documentary. I think the end product would be an important thing to hold onto, as it's very likely that I won't see many of the members of my family again.

Well I should likely get back to reading up on php/sql I'm finding the material incredibly dry and must use all of willpower not to let my mind wander off toward other things.