Tuesday, April 20, 2010

at least there's today

I've been restless lately. Prone to anxiety and depression for unknown reasons. Nothing is different or more stressful or bleak. I don't quite know how to rid myself of feeling this way. Today isn't bad. I stayed up late last night watching an immature and pointless movie. I was misinformed as to what it was about. Kerouac woke me up frequently and yet I feel quite rested. I imagine it has something to do with actually having coffee this morning.

My garden is coming along surprisingly well. I'd held off planting tomatoes from seeds because I thought it might be too difficult, my garden disagreed and decided to grow a thriving tomato plant on its own. Beatriz was up this last weekend and entrusted me with her very large arrowhead vine. I've strung the leaves along some twine above my nasturtiums and the two plants are rapidly reaching out to one another. I hope they don't conflict. I'll take some pictures as soon as I can and post them.

Beatriz graduates in about a month and will be moving back up to Prescott. I'm pretty well stoked for it all. I'm anxious though for what it means for me. In waiting for her to finish I've put my own goals on hold, and feel a great deal like I've lost sight of where it is I want to be. I'm unsure of how to go about re-inspiring myself to see a path toward anything. I hope though, that having her back for good will trigger something like a light switch in me. Time will tell I suppose.


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