I've been imagining and plagued by where pretense rests her head for the long dead messages to appear brightly spoken.

.

.

With uproarious applause the noise of poison manifests it's horrors against us.

Success!

So last night I received a normal bmi score from the wii fit! It was quite an encouraging sight to behold, I've felt much better as of late, but the visual gratification of being deemed 'normal' at anything was quite satisfying. It's a strange thing psychologically to realize that it took a video game to get me to succeed at giving a damn about exercising. I'll beat you wii fit! Mark my words, I'll win at your devilish games!

On to other news; I've been working on implementing a php/mysql server at work to communicate with my inventory database. It's been simultaneously interesting and incredibly frustrating. I left my computer locked over the weekend to preserve my work in it's delicate state in hopes of getting started exactly where I left off come Monday morning. Low and behold however, my computer was carelessly power cycled by one of my colleagues. Suffice it to say, last weeks work was either gone completely, or severely corrupted. I spent the better half of this week attempting to fix things, and then finally decided to start again from scratch. Although it was quite infuriating to have felt as though I wasted my time, in the end I was better off for having to redo everything because I have a much better grasp on what all it was I had done to begin with. It's taught me a great deal about server administration and it's been quite inspiring in regard to personal aspirations for creating a website. I'm thinking I might take a class on web design or php/html coding. I could likely get work to pay for it, and might be able to find it taught online, meaning I could take the class during work. It's always infinitely more satisfying to take classes when you're paid to be in them.

Beatriz is going to Tucson this weekend, so I'll have the weekend to myself. I'm thinking I'll try to snag some movies from the share and ship in the netflix so I can vedge out and watch movies. I've been notoriously bad at keeping my netflix for months at a time, so hopefully if I mail them tomorrow I'll get new ones in by this weekend.

there is a reason for everything

happy things for happy times

piano awesomeness

After a great deal of effort, a new member of our family has arrived. It needs a lot of work to sound terribly great, but I'm up for the challenge. I think where Bea and I finally moved it will work best in our living room. We have very little space in which rearrange things, so it sort of has to work.

also, this:

cthulhu and end of week win!

I'm pretty stoked, we're supposed to play Cthulhu later tonight and today also marks the end of my work week. I'm running on fumes however, and hope I'll be able to last. I got at best, two to three hours of sleep last night, and came to work at 9:20, and am attempting to work a ten hour shift. Then scramble to eat something quick and get my gear and head to Mike's to play until 3:00 in the morning. (if history repeats itself.) Really though, all I want to do is grab a six pack and chill out on the couch to some tetris.. so I'm not too sure how well off I'm going to be after tonight. I'm thinking I won't drink or smoke during the game tonight, else I be made the buzzkill in having to split earlier than required. That alone should be an interesting experience, as I self medicate for performance sake, as drinking relaxes me to prevent social anxiety, and smoking exhilirates my sense of both attention to detail and imagination. Albeit, the beneficial aspects to my form of doctoring has a tipping point that can quickly make my ability to play close to nill. Either how, I'm in good spirits and happy that I can relax for the next couple of days.

a dream for a dream

So I've spoken with Mike further about trading my motorcycles for his piano, I'm comfortable with this on so many levels that I feel like I won't have any regrets. The trade is fairly well equivalent in regard to condition, value and spirit. I'm really quite stoked to get her home and be able to zone out thumping away out of tune and out of mind. I'm sad that the prospect of zipping around town on my motorcycle isn't likely, but I think it will be quite inspirational to have a piano available to me again. It's wonderfully out of tune and beautifully ancient. I'm think that I'll leave the tuning/string work to a professional, however the woodwork I can likely handle myself. I think when I get it into the house I'll give it a good sanding, and then choose a dark or cherry stain to bring out the wood grain. Eeeep! I'm excited! Well, Mike seems pretty intent on making the exchange happen this weekend, so hopefully we'll be able to round up enough guys either Friday or Saturday and haul it over. It's a short trip, so hopefully nothing will go wrong in the move.

bbq

Well I'm up quite early... I couldn't seem to sleep any longer. I'm too excited about today I'm pretty certain. Also, I really want to get started on my potato salad, bea reminded me that the last time I made it, it was still warm when it came time to eat. So I'd like to at least get the potatoes cooked and chilled. I'm hoping everything goes off without a hitch, or more over that I finish everything with enough time to chill before company arrives so that I can actually enjoy myself. I also hope I haven't done myself in by getting up this early, I have nearly twelve hours to get everything finished before people arrive though, so I'd say in that respect I'll be alright... just hope I don't get tired later.

lay back and watch the fires pass overhead

we're getting the first good rain of the monsoon season and it's fucking brilliant. My front yard is something of a river, but the air smells of the earth and things are for a moment, beautiful.

I've been feeling somewhat lost lately, caught between the foreboding notion of being an unchangeable constant and the image of who or what I want to be. I can't seem to break the cycles I've been slowly forming in stone beneath me, and every so often I look down and am terrified of how deep the rut has become.